John’s Wonder wit!

I used to have a Cat that scratched all the mastic out of my windows! It was a Putty Cat!

I went to the doctor and said ‘doctor, I feel like a couple of wig wam’s!’ He said ‘you’re two tents!’ [too tense]

I went to the doctor and I said ‘doctor, I feel like a snooker ball!’ He said ‘Get to the end of the cue!’

I said to my friend, ‘I found Lillies in the garden the other day!’ He said ‘did you put them in the Green bin?’ I said ‘no!’ she was still wearing them!’

My friend said the other day, who’s got the Big issues? I said Sasquatch the big foot!

Who’s the biggest woman in the Bible? The woman of Samaria! [some area]

Who’s the smallest person in the Bible? Bildad the Shuhite [shoe height!]

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About wonderboy57

Let's make a start. I am a Christian but I guess that's pretty obvious. I am a gardener, builder by trade. I live in the Black country. I love 50s 60s 70s and 80s music. I play guitar and sing. I do open mic nights, I love growing veg and flowers, but I don't eat the flowers. Well I eat cauliflowers but that's not the same. If you need a good Gardener/bricklayer/landscaper and plasterer, not all in one go of course then contact me. My business is Dedicated In Gardens or D.I.G. Do you get it! Or do you dig it? johnkarlw@gmail.com
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4 Responses to John’s Wonder wit!

  1. June says:

    Stick to the day job. Hugs as always Jxxx

    • wonderboy57 says:

      Hey, I thougtht you were my friend? I need some encouragement! I’m scraping the barrel here! Thanx anyhoo. Hey Crossfire won their heat last night in battle of the bands! Next week is semi final! WOW, winner goes to 02 arena in london for the final! ooooh! JW

  2. Graeme Harvey says:

    I was in the queue at the chemist’s last week, waiting for my prescription to be filled, when this bloke walked in and said, “Have you got a cure for hiccups?”

    The chemist came round the front of the counter and smacked him right between the eyes.

    The bloke was obviously taken aback and said: “Hey, what did you do that for?”

    With a smug smile, the chemist said, “I bet that’s cured your hiccups.”

    The bloke said, “But it’s for my wife…. she’s in the car outside.”

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